WHY STORIES ARE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO TEACH HONESTY
Honesty is about making choices that help us become our best selves, strengthen friendships and build a better world. Honesty is the foundation of trust and respect; both how we see ourselves and how others see us.
Honesty requires clarity
Honesty is a core value that guides ethical choices and behavior. When people especially children know very clearly what is the boundary or expectation it is easier for them to look at their choices.
Imagine a child asks, "Can I have a cookie?" If the parent simply answers, "Yes," the child may honestly believe they have permission to eat as many as they want. Saying, "You may have one cookie. The rest are for Dad's meeting tomorrow," makes the expectation clear.
In Fireheart and the Quest for the Perfect Fruit, King Frostfire says “For Rosalind to live here, she must have the most delicious fruit.” King Frostfire clearly explains both the goal—finding the most delicious fruit—and why it matters. Fireheart knows exactly what he is trying to accomplish.
Honesty is a choice
At its heart, honesty is a choice between different paths. My mother did not like conflict at all. If we asked her how long until we would stop when we were on a road trip, she always said “five minutes”. This may seem like a small example of dishonesty, but it shows how easily we can choose a path other than honesty.
In Fireheart’s quest, Maki the deer will have a choice after she finds the jaboticaba tree grove. Will she keep it to herself or share it with Fireheart and Rosalind? Maki thinks carefully about her options. She could keep the grove secret or share it with Fireheart and Rosalind. After tasting the fruit and thinking about her friends, she chooses honesty over selfishness.
A story provides children with a stress-free experience to discuss choices. They can ask questions without facing a punishment. Asking questions after “who ate all the cookies” is a much more stressful time to discuss choices.
Honesty is hard
There can be a number of reasons for not being honest. These include fear of judgment, self-protection, stress, avoidance of conflict and even habit. In a story, a character can examine these feelings without any judgment on the reader.
In Fireheart’s adventure, Maki the deer finds a delicious fruit she has never tasted before. She is tempted to keep the grove to herself. This is a natural stage of development. As children learn to meet their own needs, they often focus on themselves before they learn to consider the needs of others.
The clarity King Frostfire provided earlier makes it easier for Maki to understand how her choice will affect her friends. Maki’s kindness and compassion for her friends leads her to choose honesty. This choice builds her character and self-respect. A story lets children explore options like kindness and sharing versus lots of wonderful fruit all to yourself without worrying that anyone is suffering from the choices.
Honesty deepens bonds
Honesty is the bedrock of a strong friendship. Honesty builds trust, which allows each person to be their authentic self. As trust builds the friendship can become a safe place to be ourselves without fear of judgment or betrayal.
Maki’s decision illustrates this beautifully. When she chooses to help Rosalind and Fireheart by sharing the grove; she becomes a more intimate friend. As a father, King Frostfire is pleased with Maki’s choice because he realizes Rosalind will have strong friendships to lean on in tough times.
Stories let children experience the results of good choices much more quickly than real life. Time is relative in a story and the child does not have to wait days or weeks or months to see the outgrowth of good choices. Through storytelling, the child accepts that good choices lead to good friends.
Honesty deserves immediate praise
Immediate praise can increase honest choices in three ways. It clarifies the choice i.e. “Thank you for only eating one cookie.” It removes the fear that the other choice would have yielded better results: maybe the child was wondering if eating four cookies would have been more fun. It encourages the effort to make the honest choice. A child wants to please their parent so the praise supplements all the other reasons for the choice they made.
In the story, King Frostfire praises Maki for her honest heart. This praise reinforces all the compassionate reasons Maki had for sharing the grove. The joy that Fireheart, Rosalind and King Frostfire have is an emotional form of praise. Fireheart also states that her sharing makes the grove even better.
In life we may occasionally miss opportunities to praise good choices. With a story there is a built-in space for praise. The discussion questions at the end of the book provide another opportunity to offer praise with your child.
Discover the Fireheart's Quests Series
Follow Fireheart, Princess Rosalind, and their rainforest friends through twelve heartwarming adventures filled with Amazon rainforest facts, gentle social-emotional learning, and discussion questions families can enjoy together.
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