Willingness Teaches your Child to Face Reality and Grow
Willingness infers that something is done on purpose; done by choice. Before we can achieve our purpose or even see our choices, we need willingness to accept life on life’s terms. Developing willingness in children can help their social growth, learning new tasks, power struggles and aid in emotional resilience. But what happens to willingness when we are no longer certain?
Willingness Begins with Readiness
Willingness can be defined as the state of being happy to act without hesitation. Willingness begins with a choice to act. Much like hope and trust, willingness comes from a self-confidence within the child. It may start tiny. It may be just a spark of willingness to choose to participate.
That first choice creates a readiness to act. Willingness may need some curiosity. It will need some level of comfort with the uncomfortable. Any new challenge that requires willingness will have some discomfort and perhaps some amount of failure in the process. Teaching children that it is okay to be imperfect and make mistakes can help cultivate willingness.
In Fireheart and the Quest for the Perfect Flower, at first Esperanza was ready and happy to act. She had clarity and purpose when she started her quest. Willingness can start strong but waver if we forget to keep in acceptance of reality. Sometimes we just want a solution so much that we ignore what is all around us and even in us. Esperanza had the readiness to start her quest but her willingness struggled as she grew tired and hungry.
Willingness Calls for Flexibility
Willingness isn't attachment to one answer. It's openness to discovering a different one. Willingness is embracing choice. As life and our expectations of it change, our choices may need to change with the changed reality. If you want your child to continue to nurture willingness, they must learn that their environment and even who they are is always changing. Trying to learn a task when you are hungry is much more difficult than when you are full. Adults also are subject to being tired, hungry, sad and distracted.
Sometimes the clarity we started with will have to adjust to new circumstances. Perhaps your child is playing with plastic building blocks and has a plan of which building blocks to use. If a friend comes over and joins in the building play, your child may have to adjust and learn to be flexible in their choices. This helps them have less stress, increases teamwork and social bonds.
In the story, Esperanza wanted to complete her quest in one day. She had to be flexible with the reality of her own needs. Acceptance of reality is a part of cultivating willingness. When Esperanza became aware of her hunger and tiredness [her reality], she practiced self-care as a flexible choice. Sometimes willingness means moving forward. Sometimes willingness means being willing to stop and pause.
Surrender Is Not Giving Up
Surrender doesn't mean deciding that things will never change. It means being willing to see what is true right now. Our current reality is not our forever reality. Whether it is learning to draw or play a sport or write, just because our current reality does not reach our desired level of performance does not indicate that our future reality may not show improvement if we persevere. Surrender is not giving up. Surrender is accepting reality and making the best choices for that reality.
In the quest when Esperanza stops for food and rest, she makes a choice to pause and wait another day. Esperanza chooses humility and surrender. She cannot find the perfect flower today. In her surrender, she spends a peaceful night. She knows that just for this one day, her reality is that she must pause her quest. The peace in her surrender is that she knows tomorrow will be another day. Tonight she must choose self-care. Esperanza is at peace as she accepts she has done all she could today.
Willingness Ends in Trust
Fighting reality is always a losing battle. Willingness means being open and honest. When a child feels safe enough to be honest, they can avoid judging their feelings. The safety of accepting that reality changes help the child grow in self-trust. Even learning that other children have different realities such as a history of sports play or creative crafts or reading can build emotional security and resilience. The willingness to accept where the child is today in skill and ability strengthens that self-trust and self-worth.
Esperanza awakens refreshed and again seeks willingness to be open and curious in her quest. Sunrise brings her a peaceful and enchanting view full of colorful bromeliad plants and amazon butterflies. The sweet spicy scent from the flowers attracts beautiful butterflies.
Esperanza decides to trust herself and her choices when she presents the bromeliad flower to King Frostfire, Fireheart and Rosalind. She has many reasons to choose this flower but some of the reasons she rejected other flowers are also true of the bromeliad. She is honest with herself and King Frostfire. She is open that she just likes the feeling of being surrounded by the colorful bromeliads and butterflies.
Willingness is about readiness, enthusiasm, purpose, curiosity, flexibility, acceptance, surrender, openness and honesty. It is about joy and wonder.
Discover the Fireheart's Quests Series
Follow Fireheart, Princess Rosalind, and their rainforest friends through twelve heartwarming adventures filled with Amazon rainforest facts, gentle social-emotional learning, and discussion questions families can enjoy together.
➡️ View the Fireheart Series
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